The Pan-Arabia Enquirer could be a regional English-language newspaper.

It actually is an online satire site of The Onion ilk.

And it is quite amusing, in my considered opinion, and points up the silliness of various concepts and institutions — which is the point of satire.

If some of it is a little too “inside” for the rest of the world … everyone ought to be able to grasp some of the humor.

For example: This story about Azerbaijan’s plans to build the world’s tallest building, a title currently held by the Dubai and the UAE, with the Burj Khalifa.

The Saudis plan to build a structure taller than the Burj Khalifa, but the Azerbaijan concept would be bigger than both, and the comment “That’s just showing off, plain and simple,” is amusing.

[Read more →]

I can’t speak for the rate of religious observance among Muslims outside the UAE. I suspect it is more intense in, say, Saudi Arabia and perhaps Qatar and Afghanistan, and perhaps something less intense just about everywhere where.

But I can vouch for the fact that a significant number of the people living and working here observe the calls to prayer. All five of them. Per day.

And I wonder how many places in the world boast citizens who spend that much time every day practicing their religion.

[Read more →]

I would guess this received very little attention in the U.S., but India yesterday launched a missile with a range of 3,100 miles.

That means that missiles armed with nuclear devices launched from the north of India could reach Beijing, Moscow and Africa.

North America and even western Europe may not have taken notice of India’s rocket launch, but you can be certain that China certainly did.

If the launch of the “Agni 5″ (sanskrit for “ignite”) didn’t break any distance records, the fact that India apparently can now lob a nuke at eastern Europe and Africa means it meets the definition of Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile, which is where we get the chilling ICBM acronym.

What are the implications?

[Read more →]

The level of soccer in the UAE is often denigrated by the sport’s local cognoscenti.Both foreign and domestic.

They seem to believe it should compare to top European leagues, which is unrealistic given that each team is limited to four expatriates, and the rest of the squad comes from an Emirati male population of about 500,000.

Imagine what sort of 12-team league you might get from a population that is about the same as that of Dallas, Texas. With only four foreigners per team.

It would not be pretty.

On the whole, however, most games here are quite good enough to interest me. First, it is local-local. It is authentically Emirati.

And the dynamic of finding expats who will score goals, and fitting them into teams that are overwhelmingly Emirati, and trying to hide the weakest of your Emirati players, and all this being attempted by foreign coaches who are fired any time they lose three in a row … it’s an interesting set of dynamics.

I can say I have been bored by only two matches this year, and each was at the same stadium and involved the same team.

Baniyas!

[Read more →]

I am editing sports copy tonight. I have been at The National in Abu Dhabi long enough to recognize that our newspaper is most interested in the British sports suite — which includes cricket, rugby, snooker and (I kid you not) darts.

But I have been through several particularly “inside snooker” sorts of stories tonight, and I would just like to share with North American readers the sort of prose I am supposed to understand and, perhaps, improve on.

Remember: This is real copy in a real newspaper.

[Read more →]

The UAE is close to Iran. Uncomfortably close.

The erratic and bellicose behavior of the Ahmadinejad regime is a cause for consternation in the West. Might Iran have nuclear devices? Could Iran strike Israel with a nuke-armed missile?

Those questions hit much closer to home, here in the UAE, because Iran is much closer to home: It lies only about 30 miles across the Strait of Hormuz from the northernmost point of the UAE.

And while tensions between Iran and the West are generic and ongoing, they are specific and happening-right-now with the UAE.

The trigger?

[Read more →]

Perhaps you have experienced the feeling. You see a day on the calendar and you think, “This date is familiar, but I can’t remember why.”

If you are lucky, it doesn’t turn out to be your anniversary or your mom’s birthday.

So, exactly 2.5 years to the day that we left the United States for Abu Dhabi and the United Arab Emirates, there it was: “April 15″ looking back at me on the calendar and, honestly, it took me the longest time to remember why the date really was significant.

[Read more →]

The Titanic struck an iceberg 100 years ago tonight, and sunk in the early hours of tomorrow, April 15.

This has fascinated me since I was a child and reading those little 16-volume encyclopedia sets that U.S. supermarkets sold for $1 per volume, if you bought enough groceries.

And unlike many of my historical fascinations, this one seems to be broadly embraced. Almost universal. Even The National, here in Abu Dhabi, has printed numerous stories about the 100th anniversary of the sinking, including this massive piece about how many Arabs may have been on board.

Nearly everyone is drawn in by the Titanic story.

Why is that?

[Read more →]

This is the first Friday the 13th in something like 40 years that I have faced without my “lucky” coin.

[Read more →]

We do not lack for sand, here in the UAE. The whole country is sand, essentially. Except for some rocks up in the north.

Anyway, we don’t need more sand. We don’t need what we already have to be strirred up. But we got that today.

Check out the story via this link.

Then we will come back and discuss.

[Read more →]