I can’t be the first person to notice this.

Dodgers broadcasters Eric Collins and Steve Lyons sound like the same guy.

Collins is the new when-Vinny-is-off TV play-by-play guy for the Dodgers, and Lyons is a holdover commentator. And they would be fine. Acceptable, anyway. (What was wrong with Charley Steiner, exactly?) Except for this:

To the ear, Collins and Lyons are the same guy.

I have heard Collins a half-dozen times now (this is his first year), and during every one of those games this sequence of thoughts has gone through my head.

–Man, Lyons is talking a lot.

–Actually, Lyons must be the play-by-play guy now. How odd.

–Oh, yeah! The guy who does most of the talking is that new dude! Who sounds like he grew up across the street from Lyons. If not in the same house.

This is a problem. Not in terms of competence. But in terms of knowing who is yakking at us.

Isn’t it pretty much required that when you put together a broadcast team that you get voices of a different timbre? (A baritone and a tenor?) Or guys with different accents? (A Yankee and a Southerner?) We ought to be able to discern immediately who is talking.

I believe I have a fairly good ear for this stuff, but I am finding it very difficult to discern between Collins and Lyons. Very, very tough. Ultimately, “the guy who talks more” is Collins. That’s how I know.

(But Collins doesn’t help things because he has studied up so hard for every broadcast that he injects the sort of analysis and commentary normally left to the “color” guy, who is Lyons. Hmm.)

Turns out, they aren’t from the same street. Or even the same city.

Lyons grew up in the Pacific Northwest.

Collins is from Chicago and went to school at Syracuse.

Still, they both have what is, I believe, known in linguistic circles as a General American accent. Or North Midland. Basically, the variety of English most common in the country. The sort spoken by most network TV commentators.

Chicago has its own accent, mostly notable for incredibly flat vowels, sibilant esses and the “th” blend often being pronounced as a “d”. For instance: Da Bearss.

But if Collins grew up sounding like Mike Ditka … he got over it, or had it hammered out of him in college.

Anyway, these guys need to do something to make it clear to us who is speaking. Maybe one of them can speak in falsetto. Or affect an accent. Or Collins can stick to balls and strikes and Lyons can do the analysis, and we can try to divine which of these identically pitched voices is which from subject matter.

Or maybe the Dodgers can replace one of them. Really.