When I was young, which of course is a long time ago, no television program would take to the airwaves without a theme song. At the least, some sort of music.

(The whimsical theme for the Dick Van Dyke Show enters my head, with Van Dyke, a champion prat-faller in his prime, neatly eluding an ottoman. And the martial Combat! music; loved this stuff.)

But, often, an actual song. Several of which stick in my mind all these decades later. Which says something about a sort of subliminal brain-washing that went on.

A few examples.

“There’s a holdup in the Bronx; Brooklyn’s broken out in fights; There’s a traffic jam in Harlem that’s backed up to Jackson Heights; There’s a scout troop short a child; Khruschev‘s due at Idlewild; Car 54, Where are you?”

That is the first verse of the ditty that came ahead of a semi-funny and semi-successful sitcom about two New York City cops — Toody and Muldoon. The silly Car 54, Where Are You?

(The show ran so long ago that JFK Airport was still named “Idlewild”.)

And I remember that song to this day.

One of the classics in the genre was the theme song to Gilligan’s Island.

And I quote:

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, which started at this tropic port upon this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure; five passengers set sail that day on a three-hour tour. (A three-hour tour.)

“The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. (The Minnow would be lost.) The ship touched ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan, the skipper, too, the millionaire (and his wife), the beauty star, the professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan’s Isle!”

Did that from memory. Feel free to compare it to the actual lyrics; not quite a perfect rendition, but close. And here is the tune, if you care to sing along.

Theme songs were not just about subliminal branding. They often introduced the characters and set out the outlines of the show. Gilligan’s Island, certainly did. So did Car 54.

(The whole cartoon genre, three or four decades ago, had theme songs. Super Chicken comes to mind; here it is.)

It strikes me that theme songs with words are the humble descendants of prologues from plays. For instance, from Romeo and Juliet, setting the scene for what is to follow.

I miss theme songs. I’m not really aware of any of any songs of significance, in current TV. New Girl manages about two lines of music, then suddenly ends, almost as if they are embarrassed by the concept.

It is a void. Theme songs were fun and helpful.