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MLB and Its 2017 Fourth of July Clown Suits

July 4th, 2017 · No Comments · Baseball

Thank goodness this is July 4, because after tonight’s games Major League Baseball players can stop wearing the garish and ridiculous special uniforms they have been trapped in since July 1.

What is it the kids say of something that is lame and stupid?

“Clown shoes”, I think it is.

Just about everything the world’s greatest ballplayers have been modeling since Saturday fits the “clown shoes” definition — aside from their actual cleats, which seem more or less normal.

The worst? Those socks. Red-and-white rings on one leg, blue stars on a white background on the other. It makes me think of Bozo. Or Fizbo.

What ought to be done with these?

I’m thinking a red, white and blue bonfire for every shirt, pants and socks that came out of this fashion nightmare. Before any of it gets sent to Cooperstown — or some Third World country where an innocent kid wears some of that stuff just to have something to put on.

Why do we have to look at this stuff?

How much cost is involved in generating special hideous unis for various holidays? Which then are worn maybe twice. Maybe less, if every club has several versions of each jersey. In case it gets ripped, or something.

Which brings to mind Chris Sale’s highly principled (and understandable) refusal to wear a Chicago White Sox throwback uniform last season — which included the left-hander taking the scissors to the eyesores.

I find myself equally behind tearing these holiday nightmares into small bits so that we never have to look at them again.

How about a return to the quiet dignity (with a few exceptions) of regular baseball gear? If MLB is hot on something odd, let’s just put it on a patch to be worn on the sleeve … or maybe by bat boys, who are paid to .

Real players shouldn’t dress up like guys who wear rubber noses, face paint and fright wigs.

 

 

 

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