Doesn’t that headline seem almost laughable? As if Kobe needs defending?

But, bizarrely enough, he does.

I don’t know of any NBA player so routinely criticized. So subject to having his game so mercilessly parsed.

No one so regularly attacked on a personal level. That whole “selfish”, “bad man”, “bad teammate”, “egomaniac”, “uncoachable” thing.

And it’s really being ramped up right about now, as the Lakers teeter on the precipice of defeat in the NBA Finals, and Kobe’s legion of detractors prepare to 1) praise the Celtics and 2) trash Kobe. Not necessarily in that order.

One of Kobe’s most vociferous critics, and one with one of the biggest forums, is espn.com fan-boy Bill Simmons, a shameless Boston honk who somehow has morphed into The Voice of the Website.

His attacks on Kobe are consistent, insistent and unrelenting, often personal … and probably represent a fair sampling of Kobe Thought among fans in other NBA cities.

Just a sampling from today’s Lakers-bashing ranting:

“No Celtic would ever bitch out a teammate on the court like Bryant bitched out Gasol after the big Spaniard failed to catch his 130-mph, no-look pass in the first half of Game 5. How can Lakers fans continue to defend such petulant behavior? You got me. But, hey, he must be a good guy because he can do news conferences while holding both of his kids. I have to admit, I’m a little Kobe’d out. Even politicians handle their public image less transparently — we’re almost to the point that Kobe’s PR team is going to stage a fake fire in the Hollywood Hills and have Kobe “randomly” drive by the house, then run in to “save” three kids.)”

I would never say Kobe is a perfect human being who can walk on water and carry any ol’ team to a championship, but he’s a far better player and more important NBA historical figure than people outside L.A. seem to be insisting.

Let me count the ways:

1. Without Kobe, the Lakers are the Memphis Grizzlies. Probably not in the playoffs, certainly not in the NBA Finals. No way, zero, that a team “led” by Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom is still playing on June 17. Gasol never had been part of a winning playoffs game (not series, game) until this season, and Lamar can go missing for a week at a time.

2. Kobe is directly responsible for about half of all decent shots his teammates make. Because he attracts so much attention from the other team’s defense. Does anyone believe Derek Fisher, Sasha Vujacic and Vlad Radmanovic, to name only three, can create their own shots? Really?

3. Kobe is the first, second and third target of every defense by every team playing the Lakers. Including elite defenses such as San Antonio and Boston. Yet the man is averaging 30.6 points per game in the playoffs and 26.4 ppg vs. Boston — the best defensive team in the NBA.

Another way of looking at this: Kobe has scored 29.7 percent of the Lakers’ points in the postseason, and 28.0 percent of their points against Boston. Both numbers are up from the regular season, when he scored 26.1 percent of all Lakers points.

4. Kobe does far more than score. He defends the other team’s hottest perimeter player, he leads the Lakers in minutes played and assists (5.8 per game in the playoffs; Gasol is a distant second at 4.1), and is second in steals and third in rebounding.

5. The Lakers are Kobe’s team, and they are in the NBA Finals, so his leadership clearly has worked just fine to this point. Celtics eavesdroppers (including Red Sox pitcher/blogger Curt Schilling) have been shocked, shocked to find out that Kobe has no problem ripping teammates if they screw up. And why not? The guy is finishing his 13th season in the NBA; not only is he the team’s best player, he is its most experienced and analytical, as well. He is a coach on the floor. And if he gets a little salty with a Sasha or a Vlad or a Pau … well, so be it. Michael Jordan belittled his teammates constantly, referring derisively to them as his “supporting cast,” yet that’s OK … and Kobe getting into Lamar’s face isn’t?

6. Speaking of Jordan, why must every Kobe game — heck, every Kobe play — be compared to Michael Jordan? Why is the corpse of MJ’s career dragged out as a point of reference for Kobe’s career? That was 10 years ago. The league was different. And doesn’t every player get better the longer they have been retired? Kobe never has compared himself to Jordan. He asks people not to do it. Yet “he certainly is no Michael!” is flung at him repeatedly.

7. And which is it? If Kobe scores 40, he’s selfish. If he scores 20, he can’t handle pressure. Which is it? He cannot be innately selfish or not scoring enough. He can be one or the other, but the people who loathe him seem to want it both ways. In Game 4, he didn’t start shooting soon enough. In Game 5, he scored 15 points in the first quarter … then didn’t do enough the rest of the way.

8. And the whole character issue … for starters, if you’re not on trial or under arrest, does it really matter, in sports? Kobe was accused of rape in Eagle, Colo., in 2003 The suit was settled. No, not a trifling matter. But do we have anything else on Kobe? Any DUIs? Guns in his car? Drug busts? Failed drug tests? Is he routinely rude to the public? Does he give journalists a bad time? (No and no.)  … And not being “loyal” to the organization by criticizing it, last summer, and attacking Andrew Bynum … well let’s see, Kobe had just gone three seasons of busting his hump and the Lakers really hadn’t done much of anything to get better, and had screwed up a chunk of that by trading Caron Butler away for Kwame Brown. I believe we have to give him a pass for a couple of months of venting.

Here is the bottom line on Kobe:

The man is the game’s most entertaining player.

The man is the NBA’s best player, as well as its officially recognized most valuable player, as voted by credentialed media.

He lives to win. He comes through in the clutch. He ranges from good to great in every measurable basketball skill.

But he’s a bum if the Lakers don’t win an NBA title?

It’s crazy. But tat’s the vibe around the country. And it astonishes me to feel it. I know it’s mostly about him being a lightning rod for Lakers hate because he is the Lakers. But can’t we get a little perspective here? Back up and say, “well, he does this or that that annoys me … like beat my team … but yeah, he can play.”

Is that too much? For a lot of people, apparently it is.