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Freakshakes: Yes, It’s a Thing in the UAE

May 8th, 2017 · 1 Comment · UAE

Never minimize the United Arab Emirates’ ability and willingness to be part of any conversation about overindulging. The country may not have invented wretched excess, but it has embraced it.

Take, for instance, the so-called “freakshake”, described in this story in The National newspaper as “basically, oversized, pimped-out milkshakes. … The bigger, the better.”

Freakshakes apparently were invented in Australia, made their way to London and now can be found in several gut-busting varieties in Dubai and Abu Dhabi.

Take, for instance, the Mud Pot freakshake (see above), which they will whip up for you at the Central Grounds in the lobby of the Marriott Hotel Downtown, in AD. One of the seven freakshakes they make there.

What is in the Mud Pot?

“White chocolate ice cream, Valrhona chocolate sauce, a chocolate brownie, mud cake, hot fudge and vanilla cream,” according to an employee there.

Said the source: “It’s a real chocolate bomb.”

Cost? About $12.25.

Calories? High side of 1,000.

But when it comes to overindulging, who’s counting?

One freakshake, made at the Black Lion at Dubai’s H Hotel, checks in at 2,200 calories — or about as many as an adult male should consume in a day.

It is called the Strawberry Volcano and includes strawberry ice cream, milk, cream, whipped cream, vanilla cheesecake, a pecan brownie, strawberry laces, white-chocolate sauce and strawberry sauce — and costs $13.60.

Gonna be hard to beat that, the 2,200 calories.

As The National notes, dieticians and health-care professionals are, yes, freaking out at the notion that humans might eat/drink freakshakes.

Said one dietician: “Freakshakes advocate the notion of overindulgence, which is exactly the opposite of what health professionals preach: moderation.”

OK then.

She added: “They are showing us that we can eat all that we love from sugary, processed food in one cup, all at one time.”

Well, when you put it that way how could it be all bad?

“Why do we need this extra 1,500 calories,” an Abu Dhabi nutritionist asked. “And in liquid form? It is so hard on our system to metabolize these drinks. It just runs through the body and leaves the 1,500 calories.”

As it turns out, it is the “optics” that apparently are helping drive the freakshake craze.

They look great on Instagram.

A chef at the H Hotel said: “Freakshakes have become hugely popular. They are great for sharing with friends and they photograph brilliantly, so people can show them off on social media.”

He added: “You eat with your eyes. A spectacular freakshake can have your mouth watering just by looking at a picture.”

The National notes: “A growing number of restaurants in the UAE are adding the decadent treats to menus, aware that these monster shakes are social-media gold.”

The Dubai chef is in agreement: “We notice a huge amount of people posting pictures of them on social media and everyone always raves about telling their friends.

“Freakshakes have massive wow factor.”

Just one question: Is everyone sure some county fair in the U.S. didn’t do this first?

Two-words: “Deep-fried butter.”

Just sayin’.


1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Ben Bolch // May 11, 2017 at 6:25 PM

    This goes back to at least the 1970s at Swensen’s ice cream shops throughout the U.S.:

    The EarthQuake

    This earth-shaking extravaganza combining 8 scoops of old-fashioned ice cream and rich toppings: chocolate fudge, hot fudge, butterscotch, hot caramel, strawberry, pineapple jam, marshmallow, mixed almonds, whipped cream and cherries.

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