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Exercises I Can’t Do Anywhere

September 25th, 2015 · 1 Comment · Uncategorized

When a person moves around, it’s hard to take along exercise equipment. It’s not like you can pack a treadmill or an elliptical or a rowing machine. It’s not practical to bring along 50 pounds of free weights in your carry-on at the airport. (May not even be legal.) You think about these things. “If I move, how will I exercise inside on a cold/hot day?”

So it was with good intentions that someone sent along a video of a man demonstrating 30 exercises you can do anywhere. No gym necessary. Not your own modest one or the professional one in the city.

The trouble with the video?

Just about any of those 30 exercises would break me.

Go back and have another look.

No, no equipment being used. No, no large spaces required.

But the bodyweight squat? The split jump?

The 90-degree squat jump? The skater jump, the levitating lunge, the lateral squat jump?

I see knees exploding and hamstrings tearing. I see lower backs seizing up. I see heart failure.

Unless, of course, you look like the guy gleefully torturing himself, and also are his age. Or younger.

All those exercises are so awful. It’s hard to pick out the worst/most dangerous for a “mature” person.

I’m thinking the “donkey kick” is in contention. Maybe the sprinter step or the squat jack.

The “plank with rotation” looks like numerous sessions with a chiropractor. The “L sit” … not without months of slowly building up to it. Maybe.

The push-up kickover and the rock star …

I mean, really. Call the ambulance before I start. Have paramedics standing by.

Or maybe I can just take a walk around the neighborhood. Bodies are a lot less likely to fall to pieces.

Maybe I can try to pack the little dumbbells, after all.

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 L&H // Sep 27, 2015 at 8:08 PM

    Oh my goodness! The dangers of being
    “healthy”. You are so wise to be wary &
    careful! Best to take a stroll about the
    neighborhood.

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