A Freeway Series! The Holy Grail of Los Angeles-market baseball fans.

The Dodgers and Angels in the World Series. How grand! Just like all those Subway Series in New York! Right here in SoCal stadiums only about 30 miles apart.

We’ve only been talking about this for … oh, 30 years, anyway. Or since the Angels went from “perennial losers” to “generally competitive,” in 1979.

So, here we are, with both the Dodgers and Angels in the playoffs for the third time in six seasons, and a Freeway Series is just a couple of rounds of elimination away …

Stop. Don’t even go there.

Not only is a Freeway Series not in the cards. I don’t see either the Dodgers or Angels getting out of the first round of the playoffs.

Why? Well, both teams are flawed. But the biggest reason is … each is up against the worst possible team they could be matched with.

St. Louis Cardinals, Boston Red Sox. Death to the Dodgers and Angels.

First, the Dodgers and Cardinals.

The Dodgers slumped badly in September, their once potent offense sputtering down the stretch. Manny Ramirez is hitting like a Guy Off the Juice, with sharply reduced power. Orlando Hudson is beat up and ineffective. Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier are struggling, and Russell Martin has struggled all season.

Worse yet is the state of their starting pitching. When journeyman Randy Wolf clearly is your most effective starting pitcher over the second half of the season and is your Game 1 starter … you have issues.  Not to mention Rangers castoff Vicente Padilla scheduled to start Game 3, in St. Louis. Yeah, ack.

Meanwhile, the Cardinals limped home, too, losing seven of their last nine, but they send out Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright in Games 1 and 2, and those two guys just happen to be two of the league’s three leading Cy Young Award candidates. The possibility of the Dodgers scoring little (if at all) in the two games in Dodger Stadium is a real one.

Plus, the Dodgers would get another look at Carpenter if a Game 5 goes down. (And I doubt it will.)

Remember, too, the Cardinals’ recent dominance of the Dodgers. They are 24-9 against the Dodgers since 2004,  which also was the season the Cardinals rolled over them, 3-1, in the NL Divisional Series. The Cardinals were 5-2, this season, against the Dodgers. They are just a bad matchup for the Dodgers. Albert Pujols and too much pitching, is the root of it.

And, attention, all members of the Matt Kemp Anti-Defamation League: If this series lasts long enough (four games, I’d say), Kemp will make at least one play that is inarguably stupid. Count on it.

Then we have the Angels and Red Sox.

If the Red Sox didn’t exist, the Angels might have won three or four World Series by now, instead of the one, in 2002.

The Red Sox are kyrptonite to the Angels. Even moreso than the Cardinals are to the Dodgers.

Boston has knocked the Angels out of the postseason no fewer than four times — which is fairly remarkable,  considering the Angels have played in the postseason only eight times.

Included in that is Red Sox romps over the Angels three times since 2004 — including three-game sweeps in 2004 and 2007. Last season, the Angels managed to take the Red Sox to four games. Wow.

It’s nice that the Angels have won the last two regular-season series from the Red Sox — 8-1 last year, 5-4 this year. But until the demonstrate that they can beat down Red Sox Nation in games that really matter …

The Angels’ problems are similar to the Dodgers, though not quite as acute. But, then, the Red Sox are better than the Cardinals, too.

The Angels don’t have a dominant starting pitcher, at the moment. John Lackey pitches the opener, but he hasn’t been as effective this season as in previous years, and he looks vulnerable. As does Jered Weaver,  the Game 2 starter, who who went 16-8 but seemed to fade down the stretch. (His 211 innings pitched blew away his previous career-high for IP, 176 last season.)  Scott Kazmir, the Game 3 starter, might be the Angels’ best pitcher, currently. Then there is the bullpen, which is spotty. The main guy is the closer,  Brian Fuentes, who led the majors with 48 saves but also blew seven saves, has an ERA of nearly 4.00 and doesn’t strike out nearly as many guys as you’d like to see your closer blowing down.

The Angels offense is spotty and fairly dependent on a trio of punch-and-judy hitters — Chone Figgins, Erick Aybar and Maicer Izturis. What the Angels got from those three is fairly astounding, but to advance past the Red Sox they need some of the heavier-caliber bats to do some damage.  That would be Vlad Guerrero, Kendry Morales,  Juan Rivera and Torii Hunter.

Boston isn’t quite as scary as it was, even last year. Throwing the ball or hitting it.

Josh Beckett usually is formidable, and Jon Lester has been, as well. Clay Buchholz could be beatable, in Game 3; he was lit up in his last two starts. The Red Sox are stronger in the bullpen, which is deep with power arms and finishes with Jonathan Papelbon, who has a career postseason ERA of 0.00 (covering 25 IP).

Boston’s offense isn’t as scary as it was in the Manny on the Juice Era. David Ortiz finished fairly well, but he was horrible for two months. Bottom line: Big Papi isn’t quite as formidable. However, the Red Sox have several quite productive hitters, beginning with the swift Jacoby Ellsbury at the top of the lineup, followed by 2008 AL MVP and all-around pest Dustin Pedroia and professional hitters Kevin Youkilis, Jason Bay and J.D. Drew.

Then there is the issue of the Green Monster. The Angels are 1-5 at Fenway Park in the playoffs since 2004.  And if we go to back even further, to the Franchise Scarring 1986 ALCS … the Angels are 2-8 all-time at Fenway in the postseason.

For either the Dodgers or Angels to survive this round, a victory in Game 1 seems mandatory. Unfortunately, I don’t see it happening for either the Angels or Dodgers. Carpenter is too good; the Boston offense is still too potent.

And the Freeway Series? Still out there on the horizon … like a mirage in a desert.