Jennifer Aniston, still a celebrity after all these years, has been paid $5 million to be part of an advertising campaign for the Dubai-owned carrier Emirates, the New York Post has reported.

The first ad came out this week, a piece of video that shows Aniston caught in the nightmare that is flying without a shower or a wet bar, apparently standard in Emirates A380 first class.

I wonder if Aniston knows the ads are being interpreted as attacks on U.S. commercial aviation, at least by The National, in Abu Dhabi, and one industry analyst quoted by the newspaper.

As others have noted, Aniston brings a sort of rom-com feel to the ads, which would seem to indicate she hasn’t lost her comedic charm.

But it does prompt us to reconsider the notion about celebrities taking easy money from advertisers without having a clear sense of how their pitches will be used.

Aniston may never fly commercial, and perhaps she is ignorant of the air war being waged between the Big Three of Mideast Airlines (Emirates, Etihad and Qatar) and the biggest U.S. airlines (United, Delta, American).

But those who follow this sort of thing will count Aniston as having sided with the Gulf airlines.

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The UAE has played in the World Cup once, in Italy, in 1990. A quarter-century ago. And a country of soccer fans would like to see their team go back.

Specifically, to Russia 2018, the next World Cup.

Six months ago, it looked like it could happen. Now? Not so much.

What is the problem?

Two words: Saudi Arabia.

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I am now a Jurgen Klinsmann fan — through the weekend anyway.

His name has come up, albeit peripherally, as a candidate for the manager’s job at Liverpool, but we can’t have the coach of the U.S. national team losing to Mexico at the Rose Bowl this weekend in the playoff for a berth at the Confederations Cup in Russia in 2017.

So, go, Jurgen!

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The UAE is taking a shine to the concept of bicycles. Riding them. Buying them. Watching others ride them, especially professionals.

The issue here is that this country is remarkably flat, most of it. Conditions which generally make for boring races, among cyclists.

The pros? They will get in a huge pack and this or that guy will make a breakaway, then get reeled in by the pack, and the race will be determined by a sprint at the end.

That’s what happens when you don’t have a mountain.

The debut Abu Dhabi Tour begins later this week, and it has one advantage the two editions of the Dubai Tour did not:

A serious mountain climb.

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Jose Mourinho. Probably hasn’t forced his way into the American consciousness yet, but he is probably the most famous/infamous coach in world soccer.

He may well be brilliant. On arrival at Chelsea in 2004, he told English media that as a coach he was a “special one” — and the nickname has followed him around since.

Making that statement was probably the first big, blinking light that world soccer had a megalomaniac on its hands, with all that brings with it — often paranoia, and self-doubt hidden beneath bluster.

And today, it was all on display.

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Nancy Bea Hefley announced today she will retire as Dodgers organist at the end of the season, whenever that is — it’s up to the players how long they last in the postseason.

“Though the World Series,” she said, definitely showing an optimistic bent.

Nancy Bea, 79, has been the Dodgers’ organist since 1988, which leaves her some distance behind Vin Scully and Tommy Lasorda as Dodgers institutions, but she didn’t just show up, either.

That’s 27 seasons up there in the press box, making music, much of it from light opera hits like Oklahoma and Phantom of the Opera. Which I liked to hear but probably meant very little to fans younger than, oh, 50.

For a while there, it looked like it would end badly, but the Dodgers jumped in to avert a public relations bloody nose, and now it seems as if the musician herself has decided it is time to go.

She seemed pleased with the pre-game ceremony in her honor, where Orel Hershiser presented her with flowers and a jersey.

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Is this a big deal in the U.S.?

Not like over here, I imagine.

It seems as if the Old World — well, and South America, too — is divided into two camps.

One side prefers Cristiano Ronaldo (and nearly always his club, also, Real Madrid).

The other prefers Lionel Messi (and his club, Barcelona).

The argument does not respect national borders. It penetrates every society and divides neighbors, families, spouses, brothers, identical twins.

And we have a resource here, who addresses the either/or of the greatest soccer rivalry in this decade.

That would be Diego Forlan, the stylish and productive Uruguayan forward, formerly of Manchester United and Atletico Madrid, who writes a comment piece each week for The National.

In this one, he breaks down the Ronaldo-versus-Messi debate.

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This is about achievements or skills, and not actions, though I could make several lists built around the latter.

Instead, these are skills I was not born with, or couldn’t be bothered to master, and it’s probably a bit late to go back and see what I can do about any of them.

But, to be sure, I am not at all unhappy at how things actually turned out. These are regrets more in the vein of “wouldn’t that be cool to mention/show off at a party”?

So, counting down from 10 …

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Near the sink of my home in Abu Dhabi is a plastic bottle of dish soap.

It is the Pril brand, and beneath the name are these words:

–MULTI POWER

–AGAINST GREASE + CRUSTS

–NEW

–And at the bottom of the label, it has one more note, in smallish, white type: “German Quality”.

And right about now, German economists may be trying to tote up how much damage has been done to the country’s “brand” in the wake of the Volkswagen scandal.

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The 2015 Fiba Asia Championships are going on in China, and the winner of the tournament goes to the Rio 2016 Olympics.

For several Asian countries, that would be a big deal. For China. For Iran. For Lebanon and Japan. Each of them is serious, most of the time, about the game.

But for one Asian country, winning the Asian championship would be a monstrous, enormous, life-changing event.

That would be the Philippines, where hoops is the national sport, and winning this tournament would set off national celebrations.

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